So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Gay?
German.
Pity.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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