Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize