I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
