After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just gargled with NyQuil
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
