I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
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