His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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