She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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