i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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