I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
