I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
