I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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