I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
