We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
