I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
