No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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