Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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