do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
