Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize