3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
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You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
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Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
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