the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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