We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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