Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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