I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
