i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
wow bdsm is so cute
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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