Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
