Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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