How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
