The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
