I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
