everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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