It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
