its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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