And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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