babies were throwing up all over the place
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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