Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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