yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
