new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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