Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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