I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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