Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Randomize
