you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
