It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
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No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
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He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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