oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
