I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
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