Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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