You're completely useless in the revolution.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Welp...herpes.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
