I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i just sent this text using only my big toe
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
