Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize