Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
dude. I can hear the air.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
