i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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