That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
