8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize