There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
