my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Just high enough for therapy.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
