I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
two words: eviction party
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
