onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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