Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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