Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
i need some magic done to my vagina
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
