You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
