I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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