I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
