on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
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I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
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She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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