We won't sleep together?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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