Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize