To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
