True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
