I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
