i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
